Table of Contents
Not a Typical Homewrecking Niteflirt Journal.
[Conspiracy of Terran Alien Myth, Discovering If Chief Joseph Sr and Jr are Legitimate Ancestors]
[Niteflirt Alisssandra's Advice: not kinky fetish phonesex Dial Direct: 1-800-863-5478 ext: 0189705]
[homewrecked] Audio Narrative.
[My husband randy allen hartman Photos of Alleged Children]
Kung Fu panda
8:00 am….
I am secret ingredient:)… I thought I needed help utilizing Tesla coil. I am what I need :) My Mentor John, training wheel :) Time for My dreams to happen :).
I hate cliches … Guilty pleasure.. My bad.
Tesla coil having ability in welding coil for positive or negative energy.
Since, I'm not being fed drugs, I have access to pineal gland. greatest fears brought to life, I don't need faces, energy is enough locked and ready for target.
Should have left Me alone, I'm not a science project. Attacked My Family… daughter and granddaughter.
Pushed enough? Got what u NEED? Well, I've just started..now here is My Response..I'm beginning with randy hartman and his family.
Then taking out My father bruce, mimi, dex, and her worthless husband. Pin super natural death on My Ass. I'd like like to see anyone try.
u wanted a super natural killer. Id say, “u have one” Just not one u'd hoped…
mommy, I'm coming for u also after shaking shit out My Daughter. Not once, not 2x, but 3x I'm leaving u a human fucking vegetable.
Consider My gift a precious mercy. Called Me a Demonic Abomination…
What happens when hypothesis is no longer theory becomes reality?
Instead of allowing Me to evolve, scientists created unnatural.
Chris, stand in My Way..u will deal with consequences.
Fuck y'all…..
Want order out of chaos? I'll have My Peace, and leaving rest in Pieces.
Sweet dreams
Sherman
5:10 pm
What isn't told in Sherman's obituary married three times and recovering drug addict. As if Sherman didn't have a life before going back to third wife.
Ironically enough I hold to Sherman's beliefs no matter what wrong he is done in life. Sherman made no qualms about who he was then.
Right or wrong Sherman was 98.7% honest. Sherman helped save my life. My mother didn't understand how Sherman went out of his way to save my life.
My mother wracked in her jealousy. Something was always wrong with my mother. A good example of my mother from Mommy dearest “no wire hangers”
Sigh...
12:56 pm.
Writing about trauma feels more traumatic. Admitting physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. My high school senior thesis about very topic.
I am my own case study. Lends in my shame of having to write pleasantries in growing up.
I hate reflection looking into a mirror having eyes cast upon my fractured soul. Cringing knowing how dismembered, disconnected, and segmented. Mind, heart, and body 3 paralleled entities.
What writing perspective to use? Love feeling indecisive.. Normally I'm indecisive about dinner. paradox people feel I'm put together. Heh!
I stand str-8, eerily quiet, and didn't realize how my quietness unnerves others. Then again when I speak umm. People wouldn't expect to hear words fly from my lips rather shocking, grotesque, and realistic. Then I revert into my shell.
Truthfully, I dress like a bum living for comfort, my hair always a mess, but always clean I love smelling fragrant.
Favorite fragrances: Angel, amber, hypnotic poison, and be delicious.
Love soft citrus, vanilla, bergamot, lime. Harsh artificial scents make me gag. My hair, nails, and soft skin. My skin feels like silk,
I touch others with feather light delicacy. The same fashion grandmother Cho touched me. I miss my grandmother's touch velvety hands ever so gentle. Touch is important and meaningful.
Unfortunately, I'm afraid allowing others to touch me. If around family I'm comfortable with I'm alright with touch. if people look inside out others would be frightened in what's viewed.
I'm not looking forward to pain, depression, and feeling physically ill. Fuck path to self healing is fucking over rated.
I need to make changes. I'm sick of beating my head against wall apparently I haven't learned shit. If I'm repeating same fucking mistakes.
I want to feel complete, whole, and healthy having ability to walk away from anything unhealthy in My world. Ability in utilizing Tesla coil, I am receiver and transmitter took Me a long time in figuring mystery.
I hope thought scares whom tried controlling Me. A lil late in game..I've been meditating and transmuting. Clearing negative trees helpful Sakura, dogwood, willow, magnolia, redwood, Sequoia.
I planted meditative trees, trees are flourishing 17 yrs of growth.
[Fuck, Fuck, and Fuck]!!!
Time began 12:12 am.
Sigh, I hate crying worse than vomiting. Last time I cried in 2015 when my world flipped. Don't misunderstand my world was fucked, but capsized drastically.
Clearing out trauma…fuck, I'm scared, scared of unknown proverbial x in equation. What will happen, will I change for better or worse?
Integration of known personalities: Mel shell, Melissa core, military internal programs Z10RX2, livewire, diamond, pandora. Storybook training wizard of oz, princess and pea, 3 bears, Alice in wonderland. Disney training..list feels endless..
My mother told me at 15 I'd be locked in looney bin at age 36 due to My level of compartmentalization. I'm not 45 beat odd somehow.
Little bits at a time so my mind isn't lost. Reverse it's better to get lost in order to find myself. Fear of abandoning myself leaves me riddled with panic like I won't find myself.
[Wrapping randy hartman up]....
No, longer will u be a thought after today randy hartman. I need to process my pain, anguish, and disconnection.
Faceted compartmentalization held me back from being complete. Integration shell and core should scare the hell into everyone. Make zero Mistake I am coming for enemies seen and unseen.
I must have ample self love, confidence, and esteem. Everything u'll never be randy hartman hates Me bc I'm what u will never be self described words above u'll never rep.
Pretentious and pompous sorry ass beliefs. I'm sorry u'll miss Me writing about u.
Time in climbing attic and clearing out what I don't need anymore. I don't want traumatized laced memories bombarding mind.
I need peace of mind, bring Melissa out so I'm not afraid of Sun anymore. Funny a name I don't identify using not with anyone or myself.
A stubborn, willful, and chaotic child much love is necessary. I think I'm ready to nurture Melissa giving guidance and direction.
I hope by dropping ur tax id number gives Me time in releasing pressure. Fuck, I need to breathe
Good-bye
randy hartman
Federal Tax ID: 25-1814034 US
P.S
Number 1+9+3+1+9+8+7+8+3+4= 53 5+3= 8
Time 8+3+3= 14 1+4= 5
Duration 4+8= 12 1+2= 3
Tapped My cell? Fuck head. Don't worry u have a couple of yrs left better make good use before u die. I predicted emily wallgren's father's death.
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